


The List

by Wavesofwoodenlegs



Series: Ryden's Tour Tales [2]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Blowjobs, Kinks, M/M, Not like hardcore BDSM or anything, Pretty mild kinks, Smut, Snowballing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 01:36:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7461441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wavesofwoodenlegs/pseuds/Wavesofwoodenlegs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The list was never meant to be found. Brendon was dead set on that.</p><p>(COMPLETED NOW)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The List

The list was never meant to be found. Brendon was dead set on that. It had been hidden, crammed into the back of one of his many notebooks, folded up a million times. Out of the 7 notebooks in his suitcase, that one was at the very bottom. It was an unsuspecting blue, fitting right in with the others that were full of compositions and occasional lyrics when he felt like it. So, needless to say, Brendon pretty much forgot about it. The thought of it hadn't crossed his mind in forever until one evening he'd walked into the bunks to see Ryan crouched over his notebooks, a particular blue one in hand. Brendon's entire body froze. Ryan's mouth was open just barely, his brows furrowed in concentration as his eyes scanned the list of hastily scribbled terms. When Brendon felt he was once again able to move, he lept forward and snatched the list from the grip of a shocked looking Ryan. His head shot up, light brown eyes wide with surprise.

"Brendon. I-I'm sorry, I was looking at the music and I..."

Brendon's face flushed red as he crumpled the list up and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans. "Shut up. This is my stuff, you had no right to go through it. You get all pissy whenever one of us wants to look at your music, what the hell were you thinking going through my shit?!"

Ryan stammered, "S-Sorry, I just-"

"Get out. Just leave me alone."

Ryan stood up and quickly exited the bunk area, leaving Brendon alone. Brendon pulled the list out of his pocket, a quick glance at it confirming it was the indeed the list he'd made one day he was alone in his room, back when he was still a curious high schooler. He threw the crumpled piece of paper back into his case and sat down in his bunk, wiping tears of anger and embarrassment from his eyes. He kind of wished he was dead. He couldn't believe Ryan had read that, God knows what he was thinking. Ryan probably thought he was a perverted freak, some kind of sicko. Brendon closed his bunks curtain and screwed his eyes shut. He didn't know how he was going to be able to face Ryan after this. He turned fitfully on his side, deciding to go to sleep right away and foregoing a trip to the bathroom for fear of running into Ryan.

Ryan stood in the lounge, hands yanking out his hair. He let out a groan at what he had just done. No, wait, surely it wasn't his fault, right? He'd just wanted to borrow a pair of socks from Brendon's bag after all. He had just happened to find the music and get deeply immersed in it, mind thinking up ways his own lyrics could fit in with it. How was he supposed to know that there'd be something like that in there... Ryan shook his head. Who was he kidding? That was a total dick move, going through Brendon's stuff. Even though the feelings of guilt were mixed with slight arousal and excitement. He'd thought of Brendon in that way before, only a few times. Okay, so saying a few is stretching it. He might've come in his hand countless times thinking about that amazing ass. And this was making him slightly overwhelmed with all the new fantasies it presented him with. But it was still wrong, what he did. He only hoped Brendon could find some way to laugh it off in the morning. 

 

The next morning Brendon got up and walked into the lounge, momentarily forgetting about the events of last night. When he stepped into the small kitchen area, (still wearing the same clothes from yesterday) and saw Ryan pouring a cup of coffee, he remembered. His face colored, wondering if he could still escape without Ryan seeing him. But it was too late, and Ryan took notice of him, guilt crossing his features. "Hey, Brendon. About last night, it was an invasion of privacy and I'm really sorry. I know I hate it when-"

Brendon interrupted him bitterly. "Stop. Just stop." He cringed when his voice broke on the last 'stop.' "I know you're probably thinking I'm some weirdo, you don't need to pretend like that was normal, okay? I'm already embarrassed enough as it is, please don't try to talk to me and make it worse."

Ryan set down his mug. "Brendon, it's okay, really."

Brendon grabbed a poptart out of the box on the counter and stormed back to his bunk, not meeting Ryan's eyes. On his way he bumped into Spencer, who moved out of his way and stumbled into the kitchen, still sleepy. He looked from Brendon to a hopeless Ryan. "What was that about?" He asked. 

Ryan sighed. "He's embarrassed. It's all my fault."

Spencer waited a few more seconds before realizing Ryan was not going to elaborate, so he poured a cup of coffee for himself. 

 

Later at soundcheck Brendon arrived late, barely speaking, just going through the motions. Spencer and Jon both took notice, used to Brendon being the loudest and most talkative of the band. Ryan obviously knew what was wrong by the way he seemed worried for Brendon yet, unlike Spencer and Jon, wasn't trying to decipher what was bothering him. 

"Any idea what's happened to those two drama queens?" Jon asked Spencer, out of earshot from their other two members. 

Spencer merely shrugged unhelpfully. "When I asked Ryan about it all he said was that Brendon was embarrassed and that it was his fault."

Jon nodded. "Alright, well let's get through tonight's show and it'll hopefully be resolved soon. I really don't feel like breaking up this band because Ryan and Brendon have communication issues like some married couple."

 

The show that night was mediocre at best. Brendon's voice wavered any time Ryan got just a bit too close to his side of the stage, he stuttered when he caught Ryan's eye, and his fingers fumbled over his acoustic. Spencer was too preoccupied with drumming to notice too much of it, but Jon saw everything. He usually didn't consider himself one to get involved with other people's shit, but if it was affecting their performance onstage he had to do something. 

 

That night when Spencer was showering and Brendon was back in his bunk sulking, Jon cornered Ryan in the lounge. "What did you do to Brendon, and can you please undo it?" He asked simply. 

"Who says it was my fault?"

"Spencer."

Ryan knew he'd tell. Spencer always was a gossip. "Look, I embarrassed him, and I know what I did was wrong. I think he'll forgive me soon. He has to." Ryan looked worriedly back at the bunks. 

Jon was getting frustrated. "Yeah that's great, but the sooner he does, the better. Did you see his performance tonight? It was shit." 

"I know! I'm sorry. I tried talking to him but he just avoids me. I did embarrass him pretty bad."

"Yeah okay but HOW?" Jon insisted. 

Ryan suddenly got an idea. He wasn't quite sure if it would make Ryan forgive him, but he knows Brendon would be less mortified, and Ryan would definitely feel less guilty. "It doesn't matter. It was an invasion of privacy. There. Leave me alone now, I'll fix it." Ryan started searching for his notebook, while Jon just watched. 

"Okay. You better." 

"Hm." Ryan replied, and opened to a fresh page to start writing.

Ryan swiftly moved in between Brendon and his bunk, a folded up piece of paper in hand. 

Brendon sighed, annoyed. "I'm trying to go to sleep, Ryan." He tried to slide past Ryan into his bunk but Ryan reached out and grabbed onto his shoulder tightly. Brendon froze in place, stiffening under Ryan's touch. 

"Wait." Ryan said, gritting his teeth. He shoved the piece of paper into Brendon's hands, who immediately started unfolding it curiously. 

Ryan stopped him, "Don't-don't read it it yet. Wait till I'm gone. I'll be in the lounge. Come out and talk to me after you've read it. Or don't." He finished with a hint of nervousness apparent in the last two words. 

Once Ryan was gone, Brendom climbed into his bunk, pulling the curtain shut almost all the way, letting in just enough light to read whatever Ryan had written him. He unfolded it carefully, smoothing out the creases. His eyes skimmed the title and immediately his heart seemed to stop. He held in his breath, as if breathing too hard would cause it to blow away, out of his bunk and never to be seen properly by Brendon Urie, ever. He began to read down the page, pupils bouncing back and forth like pinballs. 

Some things listed almost made him laugh, with how much sense they made. Others made his mouth feel a bit dryer. But when he reached the bottom of the page he stared. The very last few lines, those last few lines, made his stomach do something indescribable. Brendon contemplated it for a moment. This was Ryan, could there be any way this was a bizarre metaphor of some sort? No, that didn't make any sense. This was extremely blatant, surprisingly blatant for his friend. Brendon knew what his next move would be.

Brendon entered the lounge, eyes glued to where Ryan sat on the couch. He was slumped over his sidekick, long fingers drumming over the side nervously. Those fingers...fuck, what Brendon imagined they could do after reading Ryan's list. He was practically weak. Brendon sat down on the couch, close to Ryan but not too close.

Ryan looked up at Brendon after feeling the shift of weight on the cushions, taking in Brendon's expressionless face. "So you read it." 

Brendon nodded, remaining silent. 

"What did you think? As good as yours?" Ryan said, lowering his voice slightly. 

Brendon leaned forward, just so he was only beginning to invade Ryan's personal space. "Not bad," he said finally deciding to speak. "'Ryan Ross' Kink List', even longer than mine." 

Ryan smirked softly. "You're not the only one with secrets, Urie."

"Oh I'll say, Ross." 

Ryan was silent for a moment, looking deeply into Brendon's eyes. "Took you a while to read that. Thought I had scared you off for a second." 

Brendon shook his head slowly, then leaned in even closer so he was whispering into Ryan's ear. "The only thing that scared me...was how fucking hot it was reading that, knowing you'd written it." Brendon tilted his head suddenly, taking Ryan's earlobe into his mouth and began sucking. 

Ryan gasped, leaning into Brendon's movements. "So I'm guessing you read the entire list, even the-the ones on the bottom?" 

Brendon pulled back, but just to begin attacking Ryan's neck with wet kisses. He hummed "Mmmhm." In response. Brendon say up and straddled Ryan, his eyes dark and wanting. He pulled Ryan's shirt up over his head, exposing the soft, unmarked flesh of Ryan's chest.  
He arched back to begin sucking on Ryan's right nipple, earning a quiet whimper. "So, nipple play, huh, Ross?" He said between bouts of sucking and licking and light teething. He blew over his wet skin, creating goosebumps. 

Ryan shivered, and took fistfuls of Brendon's hair, pulling it up harshly so they were eye-to-eye. Brendon let a rough noise escape from the back of his throat. "Hair pulling, huh, Urie?" 

Brendon licked his lips, which were beginning to look swollen from all the marks he'd been leaving on Ryan's chest. Ryan made a mental note to give Brendon a few of his own later. If he remembered correctly, Brendon was pretty into that. By now Ryan was almost fully hard, and he could tell Brendon was in a similar state by how he felt pressed up against his stomach. 

Brendon pulled away so he could drop to the floor into his knees. He began unbuckling Ryan's belt earnestly, but as much as Ryan wanted that, he stopped Brendon. "Wait." In a swift movement he pulled Brendon up by his shirt and flipped them around so he was now on top. He yanked Brendon's shirt off, and after a short passionate kiss, started pulling down the fabric of Brendon's sweatpants. "There's something I wanted to try." He managed to get his pants all the way off, boxers too, so Brendon was totally naked underneath him. 

Brendon moaned quietly as Ryan took the tip of his erection into his mouth and sucked. He wrapped his long fingers around the shaft, stroking. Brendon buried one hand in Ryan's hair and placed the other one in his mouth in an attempt to stifle his moans. Spencer and Jon were asleep in their bunks now, and probably wouldn't appreciate it too much if they were to be awakened by the sounds of their guitarist giving the lead singer a blowjob. 

Ryan's strokes were sloppy from his saliva, and he moved his hand even faster around Brendon's dick, Brendon panting. Ryan suddenly sat up, and started sucking on Brendon's neck. He kissed and bit his way down his chest, leaving mark after mark until he was littered with hickeys. He grinded against Brendon, who noted that while sucking Brendon off he had removed his own pants and underwear. 

They both grunted as their dicks rubbed against each other, slick and hot. Brendon reached down to start jacking Ryan off, who whined quietly and buried his head into Brendon's bare shoulder. 

Ryan's breath hitched as Brendon went even faster, and Ryan started thrusting his hips into Brendon's hand and against his dick. Brendon's arm was beginning to suffer from the angle but he knew Ryan was close. Suddenly Ryan's hands flew up to grasp Brendon's hair harshly and moaned against his cheek as he came all over Brendon's stomach. 

"Fuck, Ryan." Brendon stared in awe at Ryan's flexing body and expression of bliss until he relaxed and once again dropped to the floor. 

"Your turn." Ryan went down on him again, sucking him even deeper into his mouth and bobbing his head furiously. 

Brendon choked out a small warning until he came hard into Ryan's mouth, legs shaking. He had no time to recover until Ryan placed a firm hand under Brendon's chin and kissed him, pushing Brendon's come into his mouth. Brendon thought he might die from how hot that was. 

They stayed that way for a bit more, kissing and soaking in each other's post-coital calmness. Ryan finally pulled back, a sly smile on his face and his eyes glinting with humor. "Thanks, wiki." 

Brendon laughed and ran his fingers through Ryan's hair, which was damp with sweat. "Those last few terms on your list...'brown eyes, dark hair, big lips, good singing voice,' any chance those were about me?" 

Ryan rolled his eyes casually, "Nah,"

Brendon giggled, "Oh, okay then I guess I'll just go then."

Ryan shook his head quickly, "No, no...they were definitely about you. You caught me." 

Brendon just beamed at him happily. 

Together they pulled their clothes back on and curled up on the sofa, eventually falling asleep in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> ITS FINISHED!! I'm very relieved I finally completed it and was able to post it on here at last. I probably can't post a link cause my phone's a douche but just image search "Brendon Urie's kink list" and you'll find it ;) 
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated! Maybe tell me what you think of this series and if I should write more?


End file.
